We have all heard disappointment echo out of those words before.
As if it were a bad thing to have moved on, to have changed opinion, evolved a new mindset and become interested in the fruits of other trees.
We have all been guilty, too.
We have all uttered those words in one form or another out of sorrow or spite that someone close is drifting away – leaving us behind, to no longer be a part of our life in the same way.
When someone close changes direction, it can feel as if we are losing a part of them that defines a part of us.
We have all felt this in some way…
Perhaps your drinking buddy stopped drinking.
Maybe a friend who was always there when the chips were down isn’t so reliable anymore.
Perhaps your partner no longer wants to do that cute thing you once found so attractive.
Conversely we all know how it feels to be on the receiving end of…
What happened to you?
You’re so different!
You’ve really changed…
…with that negative, accusatory tone in tow.
I know I’ve changed.
I know many of my old friends don’t recognise the me they used to. And I know it’s a disappointment for some and a breath of fresh air for others.
But all too often we fight self change because we believe we will let others down if we are “just not the same anymore”.
It’s a comfort for our friends and family to say…
He’s still the same old guy!
She’ll never change, bless her!
We love him just the way he is.
She hasn’t changed in 20 years.
We almost want to sacrifice self-evolvement so we can remain the person they want us to be, the person they recognize with such fond memories.
But like it or not we do change. That’s life. It’s inevitable and healthy to embrace.
As time passes we see the world differently, we outgrow those teenage ignorances, we discover new pastures, we nurture hidden talents, we expand our horizons.
Even though we all end up at the same destination, the pathway is unique for each and every one of us.
Whatever and however we change on that pathway is part of our personal journey, and is something we should never feel guilty for, or begrudge in others.
The reality is that change doesn’t feel quite like the “change” we often fear in ourselves and others if we just let it happen. Instead, it feels exactly the way it should do; like life unfolding. Like our journey, our story, our skin shedding and new seasons unfolding.
Change is uncomfortable when we try to hide it from ourselves and others. Change only feels wrong when we question its motive and attempt to stem its growth.
Change is life. And how beautiful it is when you let it flow.